The internet is divided over a man who chose the gym over his girlfriend and her daughter.
From 2019-2020, it was recorded that over 73 million Americans have some type of membership to a gym and only 6% don’t use it. In a post going viral on Reddit’s popular “AmITheA**hole” forum, u/Gymimportancethrow, wrote his submission that received 8,000 upvotes and 2,000 comments.
The 32-year-old Reddit user explained that he’d been dating his girlfriend for about a year-and-a-half and she has a 4-year-old daughter from a past relationship. As time went on, they became much closer and he found himself moving in with them since he spent most of his time there, but still has his own apartment.
He explained his work schedule is from 4:30 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. and that he sleeps until about noon. He spends about two hours at the gym.
“I like to work out; it makes me feel good, keeps me healthy, and I also consider it a professional responsibility to stay in shape,” he said. “Working 10 hour shifts means that I don’t have a ton of time in between shift but that I also have more days off than most working people.”
He claimed that his gym schedule was never in the way of their relationship until he “moved in” with them. When his girlfriend questioned him, he explained that he had off work the next day and could hang out all day, but wanted to get his workout in since it was important.
He described his argument with his girlfriend saying, “She then responded ‘So, the gym is a priority, but me and [my daughter] aren’t? If you want to be part of this family it’s not all about you anymore. So what’s more important to you? The gym, or us?’ I responded ‘Well, if you’re going to force me to choose instead of making room for something that you know is important to me, then I guess I have to choose the gym.’ I then left.”
He wrote his post sitting in his apartment assuming that his relationship has ended. The Redditor claimed that she was only suggesting a change in his schedule but he feared that it would interfere with his gym goals.
The “AmITheA**hole” community wrote their opinions in the comment section.
In a viral comment with over 13,000 upvotes, u/Diligent_Brick_5023 wrote, “YTA.. not for prioritizing the gym so much, but for basically moving into her home when you weren’t serious about her. It’s hard on kids to have parental type figures come and go a lot. makes their lives less secure. Don’t jerk kids around..”
In a response, u/THE_CHOPPA fired back, “First off. It’s not his kid. And I guarantee that will be made very obvious the second she needs it to be. Keep that in mind. Second of all, parents or parental figures need to have alone time for hobbies that keep them healthy. Going to the gym is one of those. It is not only good for his health but set a great example for the kid.”
They continued: “What he was explaining was that there needs to be a balance and both parents need to help each other find that balance. Forcing one parent to give up something as essential as the gym because that time could be spent with her and the daughter is toxic. Not every waking moment that is not at work needs to be with the kid especially if that time away from the kid is used in a healthy and productive way like… working out. Also giving an ultimatum not a great way to go about getting what you want either. He’s not saying he chooses the gym over the daughter he’s saying he chooses the gym over this behavior.”
“This feels more like incompatibility than AH territory. I also kind of feel like you were backed into making a choice, she gave you an either or question which of course sounds terrible. I’m going NAH because it just seems like your lives don’t seem to be a good fit. Not everyone fits together and that’s okay,” explained u/Katreborn.
u/LadySheora responded to the comment above adding, “I’d say ESH. I agree with everything you said, but they both handled this argument poorly. She chose to go passive aggressive and snarky instead of telling him what was bothering her and asking to talk and work something out. He sucks because he snapped back at her and stooped to that level instead of suggesting they talk about it that evening or something when they have both calmed down. They may not be completely incompatible, but they will be if they handle their differences like this.”
“YTA because you’re not in a relationship with your gf. You’re in a relationship with yourself and there’s a woman and a small child around at some points. It’s fine if you want to prioritize the gym, but don’t keep lying to the woman and child about your intentions,” u/PolesRunningCoach said.